Do You Need Professional Help with Anger?
Does Your behaviour led to any sort of criminal or civil wrongdoing?.
Are you violent towards your partner, children or other people?.
Are You a threat to people or property?.
Do You have outbursts of rage which involve deliberately breaking things?.
Do You have constant arguments with people close to you, your spouse/partner, parents, children, colleagues or friends?.
Are You feeling angry frequently but internalise the emotion?.
Do You think that you may need professional help with your anger?.
If you answer yes to any of these questions then you may need professional help to manage your anger.Anger management does not mean internalising or suppressing anger.
Anger is a perfectly normal human emotion and, when dealt with appropriately, can even be considered a healthy emotion. We all feel angry from time to time, yet this feeling can lead us to say or do things that we later regret. Anger can reduce our inhibitions and make us act inappropriately.
Anger management is a term used to describe the skills you need to recognise that you, or someone else, is becoming angry and take appropriate action to deal with the situation in a positive way.
Anger management concerns recognising the triggers for anger as early as possible and expressing these feelings and frustrations in a cool, calm and collected way.
We often have learnt-behaviours as to how to deal with strong emotions, so anger management is about unlearning ineffective coping mechanisms and re-learning more positive ways to deal with the problems and frustrations associated with anger.
There are many anger management techniques that you can learn and practise by yourself or teach to others. However if you, or someone you know, experiences a lot of regular anger or very strong anger (rage) then seeking help, usually in the form of a counsellor, can be more effective.
You should seek professional help if anger is having a long-term negative impact on your relationships, is making you unhappy, or is resulting in any dangerous or violent behaviour.
Anger can cause a rush of adrenaline through your body, so before you recognise the emotion you're feeling you might notice:
your heart is beating faster
your breathing is quicker
your body is becoming tense
your feet are tapping
you're clenching your jaw or fists
Recognising these signs gives you the chance to think about how you want to react to a situation before doing anything. This can be difficult in the heat of the moment, but the earlier you notice how you're feeling, the easier it can be to choose how to manage your anger.
Buy yourself time to think
Sometimes when we're feeling angry, we just need to walk away from the situation for a while. This can give you time to work out what you're thinking about the situation, decide how you want to react to it and feel more in control. Some ways you can buy yourself time to think are:
Counting to 10 before you react.
Going for a short walk – even if it's just around your local area.
Talking to a trusted friend who's not connected to the situation. Expressing your thoughts out loud can help you understand why you're angry and help calm you down. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone you know, you can call the Samaritans 24 hours a day to talk about anything that's upsetting you.
The key to dealing with anger is being aware of it as it happens. Once you've mastered that, you can start reacting in healthy ways by applying useful anger management techniques.
Over half of young knife suspects are black, Scotland Yard figures reveal
Black youths are suspected of more than half of knife crime among children in the capital, according to confidential Scotland Yard figures.
A highly-sensitive report reveals that 124 of the 225 under-18s legally 'proceeded against' for knife offences in the past three months are from the black community.
Elliot Guy, 27, was allegedly attacked after he innocently enjoyed a dance with an unknown woman at a party in Tufnell Park, North London.
Mr Guy, who became a father just two months ago, was training to be a master carpenter.
He was on a visit home to the capital while studying with internationally acclaimed furniture designer David Savage in Devon.
He leaves behind a baby daughter and his long-term partner, Amy Smith.
A close friend said: 'He didn't deserve this. He had just started a course learning to make bespoke furniture in Devon.
'He had made the tough choice to move away from his little girl and partner to make a better life for himself and his family.
In memory of freddy and guy
father fatally stabbed in the neck for 'dancing with woman at a party'
Freddy is a teenagers killed violently in the capital
There are many ways to calm down and let go of angry feelings, depending on what suits you and what’s convenient at the time you are angry.
Breathe slowly – try to breathe out for longer than you breathe in and focus on each breath as you take it.
Relax your body – if you can feel your body getting tense, try focusing on each part of your body in turn to tense and then relax your muscles. (See our pages on relaxation for more tips on how to relax).
Use up some of your energy safely – this can help relieve some of your angry feelings in a way that doesn't hurt yourself or others. For example, you could try:
tearing up a newspaper
hitting a pillow
smashing ice cubes in a sink.
Do something to distract yourself. Anything that completely changes your situation, thoughts or patterns can help stop your anger escalating.
For example, you could try:
If you don't learn how to deal with anger, it can lead to physical and mental health problems.
putting on upbeat music and dancing
do some colouring
take a cold shower.